Camping

 We love camping.  We LOVE camping.  This is a little unfortunate because we live in Iowa.  There is not much good camping around here (we love Iowa anyway).

Utah is a different story.  There is almost unlimited camping potential, all scenic, some rugged, some private.

When we told the kids we got to go camping not once, but twice this summer during our trip to Utah, they were ecstatic.  They counted down the days until we could go.  Now, five months later, they still talk about what fun it was.

And it was fun.

First highlight:  Fishing.

The kids had never been fishing before this trip.  I hoped they'd catch a fish, and I'd hoped the fish would be big enough to gut and eat.  Well, the kids did catch some fish but they were little and I didn't have the heart to slice the creatures up.

Everett was the first to catch a fish (I think).  It happened just after he and I moved our lines out to a different part of the lake.  To say he was thrilled would be an understatement.  After catching that fish, Everett was sure he was a regular expert.

William was next.  He caught a cute little brook trout which he named "Spotty."  He loved that fish and was sad to see it go.  He hoped it would stay near us and was gleaming triumphantly when he saw the fish laying, stunned, in the shallow edge of the lake.  But unfortunately for William, Spotty perked up and swam off after a few minutes.

I don't think William would have let us slice up his fish even if we wanted to.

Ashley caught two fish, both rainbow trout.  (She named them rainbow-y.)  I did not get a picture because we were out in the middle of the lake, but know this:  Ashley was delighted beyond belief.  I can still hear the way her sparkling giggle chimed merrily in my ears.

Another highlight:  The Canoe (which the kids kept calling a Kayak).

Ashley wanted nothing to do with the canoe.  We prodded her and prodded her but she was determined to refuse.  Finally we goaded her into it somehow and she agreed.  The moment we pushed out onto the water, Ashley began to panic.  She does not like deep water.  You can't really tell in the picture above, but Ashley is screaming.  Joel and I kept paddling and talking her through it.  Were we mean?  Maybe.  But after five minutes, Ashley loosened her white-knuckled grip on the side and stopped panicking every time the boat swayed with a person's movement.  Her screams softened and then disappeared.  Eventually she even enjoyed the boat ride.

See?  Fear gone.

We took many trips out on the lake, sometimes with fishing poles, sometimes without.  It was peaceful.  Joel and I took just Everett and William out and tried to convince them to jump into the water.  They refused, horrified at the suggestion.  William asked repeatedly if there were sharks in this water (our answers didn't satisfy him.  He was sure there was some sort of toothy creature lurking below.)  

Joel and I grinned at each other and told the boys we'd pay them each 15 bucks to jump in the lake.  

No takers.

So I jumped in.  After I got in the Canoe, Joel took his turn.

The boys still weren't convinced it was a good idea.  They directed us as close as possible to the shore but still far enough that we'd pay them for the feat.  Then they were willing to give it a try.  Everett was first.  Joel, already in the water, called to him.  

After much encouragement, quite a few count-downs, and plenty of knocking-kneed hesitation from Everett, I finally just threw him in.  His immediate shrieking transformed into euphoria once he hit the water and realized what he had achieved.

Then it was William's turn.  He went a little more willingly but I still had to nudge (throw) him in.

When we got back to shore, we told Ashley how the boys earned their money.  She was appalled.

But Ashley sure enjoyed the boat rides after that!  Occasionally I teased the kids that something would come bite their fingers off if they put them in the water, but the kids didn't believe me.  

Joel and I enjoyed the boat rides, too.  It was peaceful out on the lake, that is for sure.  

Third highlight:  The water

I think the kids had almost as much fun poking and throwing rocks in the water as they did riding on it.

Of course there was the lure of swimming, too, but it was too cold for my liking.  The kids didn't seem to mind, through.

Fourth highlight:  Hiking

We didn't really do much hiking, but what we did was perfect.  We climbed around a bit, found some pretty little meadows, collected sticks. . .you know, the essentials.

There were plenty of adults to help the little kids along.

And plenty of big rocks to play on.

James was Joel's little buddy.  He stuck to him as much as he could help it.  Joel even played cars with him a few times (Lighting McQueen and Mater had to come along, even camping.)

Fifth Highlight:  Night time

The sun setting over the lake was gorgeous.  We had a perfect vantage point, because our campsite backed right up to the lake and gave us an unobstructed view.

Ashley loved nature's performances as well.  At one point during the day she excitedly hurried Grandma Burton down to the lake to see the way the sun sparkled in the water.

The other fun part of night time was glow sticks and games.  The kids played hide and seek with Joel while the rest of us sat by the fire.  They were very sneaky about their hiding places and much braver about hiding in the dark than I thought they'd be.  Unfortunately for them, they forgot to turn off the glow stick part of the flashlights Grandpa Burton gave them.  The kids didn't realize the lights hanging from their necks were the reason Joel could make a beeline for them each time a new round was started.

When we finally told them, they shrieked with laughter at their mistake.  And that is when I offered them new glow stick bracelets.  They carefully turned off their light when they were safely hidden but forgot to hide their wrists from view.  Caught again!

If any of us have the chance to go camping again, we will definitely take it.  Our first real camping experience was a success on all counts, thanks to my dear parents.  My dad is a champ at planning fun trips and he and my mom both spoil us rotten.  My wonderful mother sees to the details and makes sure we have enough goodies to make the trip enjoyable.  We wouldn't have had nearly as much fun without them.

Bubble Baths

Ashley has recently graduated to showers.  Everett loves a good shower.   But are the kids too old to enjoy bubble baths?

Especially when there is a ridiculous amount of bubbles?

No.  No they are not.
James was sad to have missed this bath.
Charlie, I'm sure, was relieved, as he starts to cry any time he even gets near water.

And my bathroom floors were never so clean as they were right after this bath!

Ashley's Birthday

Ashley turned 6!  Way back in June!  I am behind!

Ashley wants to be a veterinarian.  She loves everything about animals.  When our neighbors went out of town and asked us to give their cat insulin shots, Ashley was in heaven.  

Most of her school work has been about animals or being a veterinarian.  This particular page was from her kindergarten year.

The dog is sliced open and there Ashley stands with a butcher-ish knife and a grin on her face.  Macabre.  

Ashley's favorite things in the whole world is still cats, large or small.  I really think she wishes she were a cat.  She prides herself on the authenticity of her four-legged run.  She'll patter all around the house and gracefully leap onto the couches, just as she imagines a real cat would.  Why would we ever get a pet when we have Ashley?

With all that in mind, Joel and I gave her a veterinarian-themed birthday.  I built Ashley a little white operating table with a silver top, and we bought her all the supplies we thought she would need to operate on her little fuzzy friends.

We bought her tweezers, scissors, bandages of all shapes and sizes, light-up veterinarian tools, and a scrub top so she could be official.

The lamp I bought was great for illuminating the work area.  When Ashley saw it, she exlaimed "My X-Ray machine!"  

Joel was the first to operate.  The kids were wowed with his skills.

After her birthday, Ashley brought all of her equipment to the alcove under the basement stairs.  After decorating the bare studs with chalk designs and words such as "Welcome", and after setting up a nice waiting room with books to read and bundled sleeping bags for benches, she was permanently open for business.  

Everett saw this little grey and white puppy at the store and had to get it for her.  Ashley loved it.  Someone stepped on it few weeks after her birthday, causing Ashley to have her first stuffed animal with a real broken leg.

My favorite part of the gift was the homemade x-rays.  I found a bunch of x-ray images online, printed them on vellum, and had them laminated.  They really made the entire vet operation more believable.  Ashley enjoyed holding them  up to the light.  It is amazing what the internet can provide--I found images of pregnant cats, dogs with broken paws and swallowed needles and spoons, animals of every kind including owls, snakes, rabbits, and fish, all with a number of interesting injuries.

Ashley wanted black forest cake for her birthday.  Since that is one of my favorites, I couldn't disagree with her choice!

Cherries are always in season that time of year, so she was delighted to have real cherries atop her double-stacked birthday cake.

Ashley is a real treat.  We all love her dearly.  She has a lot of love in her heart, and though she prefers to keep that love close to her, she loves doing good deeds.  This is Ashley a few days before Easter.  We had a lesson about Jesus being the bread of life, and she was thrilled to help me make raspberry almond bread and get a little goody basket together for a kind woman we know.  

Ashley also jumped to assist a sick boy we knew--after finding out some details about his illness, she suggested we bring him some goodies to cheer him up.  Her favorite idea was a puzzle, so off to the dollar store we went.  Ashley volunteered to buy a puzzle with her own money (a big deal for a girl who doesn't get allowance) and delighted in choosing one she thought he would love.  

When we went to buy our stuff, I asked Ashley if she would like me to pay for the puzzle since I was already paying for all of the other goodies.  She insisted on paying for it herself and was thrilled to bring it over to our young friend.

Ashley still loves Art.  She drew this picture when she was five and was very proud of it, so I hung it up on my kitchen wall.  She considers herself an artist and I agree--she thinks like an artist, is forgetful like an artist, and sees the world like an artist.

Ashley sees beauty in everything, including herself.  Ashley loves the way she looks and she loves what her body can do.  One day after I heard Ashley mention yet again that she thought she was beautiful, I asked her why she thought being beautiful was so wonderful, and she replied, "I don't know, Mommy, I just think everything in this world is beautiful."

And she does.  In kindergarten she brought home a worksheet with the prompt "If I could have one wish. . ."  Ashley answered with, "I wish everyone could have love."

Ashley has a unique ability to see ways to transform regular objects into something interesting.  When she was four she made a realistic 3-D model of Sebastian the crab in his seashell chariot pulled by fish--all out of paper.  She went through a phase this past winter of making sleds for her stuffed animals out of cardboard boxes--shaping the tops in interesting ways and affixing skids on the bottom.  She made elaborate harnesses out of yarn and had her own sled dog teams to drive the sleds. 

Just last night, I caught Ashley gazing at a plastic hanger.  "Mom!" she exlaimed, "I'm going to make ice skates.  Could you take me ice skating?"  Ashley then showed me her plan of trimming the top off the hanger and attaching the bottom to a boot.

When Ashley was three years old, we found that we were all locked in Everett's bedroom.  The latch for the lock was on the outside of the door.  We were stuck.  I asked the kids if they thought they could find anything to fit in the slot that could unlock the door.  Ashley immediately jumped up, grabbed a nightlight out of an outlet and used one of the prongs to turn the slot, unlocking the door and freeing us all.  I had been thinking of doing the same thing, but I am an adult and Ashley was just out of the toddler stage.

I will never forget teaching Ashley to sew when she was four.  I was finishing up a project and when I turned around, Ashley had threaded her own needle and gotten to work sewing a little bag for herself out of scrap fabric and ribbon, despite me never showing her how to do any of that.

Ashley is fun.  She loves to play and she doesn't hold back for anyone.  She was playing kickball with her brothers and some of their friends a few weeks ago when suddenly she came in for a jacket and announced, "Mom, we're playing kickball out there and I'm going to rip those guys apart!"  

Ashley just finished up her second softball season and relished achieving her goal to be a switch-hitter.

If everyone had the light and joy and confidence that Ashley has, the world would be a better place.

The Danger of a Single Story

I listened to a Ted Talk a few months ago entitled "The Danger of a Single Story."

(Watch it here.  It is worth each and every one of the 18 minutes it takes to hear Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's piece.  Go ahead and do it now.  I'll wait.)

The thoughts the author shares in her prosaic speech have been bumping around in my head ever since I heard it.  I can't possibly do it justice, but the basic gist is that if we only hear one part of a person's life, we risk critically misunderstanding that person as a whole.  It seems like an obvious thought, but you really need to listen to her words to understand why this Ted Talk is so great.  She is an author and speaks with dignity and depth.

I've been thinking about Adichie's thoughts as pertaining to social media.  Every time I post something on the internet, I am representing only a part of what has happened.  Since I'm the one posting, obviously I am the one choosing what parts of the event to represent.  The same is true for everyone speaking or writing about their lives.

Take, for instance, these pictures that I posted recently.

They tell the story of a beautiful summer day filled with nature, public parks, and adventure.

Throw a little backyard fun in there and it's a perfect day, right?

Well, I remember this particular day very well, and I think there is another story to tell.

My postpartum depression had been getting the better of me for a few days leading up to this day.  My heart had been dangling listlessly in the depths of my stomach.  I felt like I was peering through a closed window whenever I watched (or helped) my children play.  No matter my desperation to be fully present, my interactions with them felt stale.  The depression almost won its battle to convince me that it was my best friend, the only one who truly understands me, the only one I could turn to.  The black-breathed whisperings began to fill my ears.

I'd go to complete a task, pause somewhere along the way, and realize I had been staring at nothing for a few minutes without even realizing it.  I moved slowly while the world around me sped up.  I couldn't catch up.  I couldn't catch my real self.

So on this particular day, I woke up in the depths, yet again.  I squinted painfully at the bright sunlight streaming through our windows and I knew that I needed to do something drastically different to shock my body into responding the way I wanted it to.

I knew that I needed to change the story of that day.

So I put on my running shoes, told the kids we were going geocaching at the park, and we left the house.

We felt the sun on our skin, enjoyed geocaching through our unsuccesses, had frozen yogurt for lunch--an extravagance the kids are not used to.  We played on the playground.  We walked by the ponds.

Through it all the kids remained vibrant,

energetic,

and happy.

So very happy.

And it worked.  I felt better and the kids had an extra-great day.  But if you had seen the pictures and only read the captions, you'd think that was all there was to this day.  Truthfully, as you can see, there was much more to it (as there usually is).

What was the story my kids would tell about this day?  One of all the fun I've described above, I'm guessing.  Is their story the one that matters most?  I don't know that stories can truly be ranked in that way.  But their story matters most to me.  Their stories (or the parts of their stories I understand) are the ones I am most interested in telling on this blog.  But don't my stories also belong to them?

My life--their lives--are not a single story, and I can effect change on the stories I am unsatisfied with despite sometimes feeling humanly helpless to do so.

And although I should more often buck the social media trend and represent more than a single story when I tell about my life, I will continue to write mostly for and about my kids who may one day need to hear more stories about their childhood and our family.

Father's Day

I am beginning to catch up!  Woohoo!

We had a lovely Father's Day.  Joel is a constant, loyal presence in our lives and I think sometimes we take that for granted.  What I remember of the morning is a peaceful, relaxed feeling as the kids  helped make him the breakfast they were so excited for and the presents they eagerly anticipated giving.  Then Joel spent time with them sorting through DVDs to put in his new case, and to my recollection, they read a few stories.  The kids also remembered their grandpas that day by taking special photos for them.

It was a happy day to remember the very wonderful men in our lives.  I am grateful I can write that word in plural--to have not only one good man in our lives, but multiple.

First is Joel.  Joel is a great father, and all who know him agree.  He is kind and patient and I know the kids are not scared to make mistakes in front of him.  They are totally comfortable being themselves because they know Joel accepts them and loves them 100%

Everett made this gift at school and saved it for Father's Day.  I love this picture because it looks like Joel is just lounging in bed.  (Those of you who know Joel well know that he does love his naps.)  But Everett really tried to illustrate Joel reading stories.  They love listening to Joel read to them at night.  They've had many adventures together via the talents of Roald Dahl, J.K. Rowling, and other remarkable authors.

In case you can't read that (Everett is far too important to worry about spelling), this says:

1) To make you a present

2) Not sleep in your bed

3)  To listen to you.

This was the morning after Joel arrived to join us in Utah.  The kids had not seen him in over two weeks and were thrilled to see that he appeared overnight!  How did they show their excitement?  By jumping on him, of course.

And despite his late night of flight delays, they didn't let him sleep in.  Joel is such a good sport that he didn't even mind.

James especially missed Joel.  He latched onto him and hardly wanted to let him out of his sight.  Joel took it all in and really loved on James.  Sometimes it is nice to feel appreciated.  I think they both felt appreciated by each other.

The kids think Joel can do anything.  They know if they ask him to help them with any sort of problem, he will have a solution.  

They also love that Joel is not afraid to be silly with them.  I cannot count how many times I have gone to tuck the kids in bed and they ask me to sing a song, "like Papa does."  

What this means is that the lyrics to an already-familiar tune are made up on the spot and are very entertaining.  

I can never perform as well as Joel can, much to the kids' disappointment.

Joel is fun-loving and teases the kids often.  Sometimes they complain but then grins creep onto their faces and betray their real feelings of delight.  

Joel likes to tease me, too.  But I like to tease him right back.  It is a part of our relationship that I think we both enjoy almost more than anything else.  Joel is my constant companion and best friend.  I don't know what I would do without his love and positivity. He is always boosting me with heartfelt comments about how he loves me and why, or why he thinks I'm neat.  

I try to do the same for him but I am afraid that I am not as good at it as he is.

Joel is certainly one-of-a-kind.  I love being with him.  I would be happy doing anything with him--I would enjoy sorting trash with this man!

The kids are lucky to have great Grandpas as well.  

(My Dad and Ashley hiking together this past summer)

My dad is wonderful in so many ways.  I treasure many memories of him that are unforgettable in the best way.  I was just reading the journal I kept as a young teenager and I write constantly about things Dad did that made a difference in my life.  One was a family home evening lesson he gave on the Atonement.  I went downstairs to my basement bedroom after that and had one of the most powerful, personal, spiritual experiences of my life.  I always knew that if everything else in my life fell away from me, my Dad would still be there for me.  He always knows how much counsel to give and when to give it.  My ears always perked up when I heard him give advice.  I still love to hear what he has to say.  One of my favorite things about my Dad is that he has a great sense of humor.  Teasing is a little bit like the icing on the cake layers of our family--it holds us all together and sweetens the deal.  My dad is my champion and I love him dearly.  My kids feel the same way about him as I do.

I count my blessings daily that I married into such a great family and have a wonderful Father-in-Law as well.

He is laid-back and always easy to be with.  The kids had fun climbing on him last time we visited.  One of the first indications I had that I would appreciate my father-in-law was when Joel and I got engaged.  He joked about not wanting to stand in the wedding line and I told him we'd get a life-size cardboard cut out of him so he wouldn't have to.  I enjoyed having this joke with him.  Joel and I appreciate his constant, reassuring presence in our lives.  Whenever we have a question, we think of calling my father-in-law.  We love to hear his trademark chuckle when we tease him.  I also enjoy reading the scriptures with him and Joel's family when we visit.  My Father-in-law carries with him a soothing spiritual presence without being ostentatious.  He constantly does what is right without asking for recognition.  He is loyal and unpretentious.  Joel inherited many wonderful qualities from him and I am grateful for that every day.

In short (too late--hah!) we had a great Father's Day because we have great Fathers.  I hope my sons will one day be great like the fathers they know.